hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
