literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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