how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
