well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
