hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
