It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize