The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
