What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Randomize
