but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
