That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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