Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
