no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
