i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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