at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
