when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
