just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize