Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Who put my cat in the fridge?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
