ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
