i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
