dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
