atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
don't judge my taste in strippers
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
