I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
