Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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