what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We had to coat check the pizza.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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