Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
