First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
