He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
