we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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