i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
