Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
