Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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