So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
It's just like the Real World with babies
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
