i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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