i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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