so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
