TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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