We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize