come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
