Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize