Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
