So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
