i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
