You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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