Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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