I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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