dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
