I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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