tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
