I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
