they need to just BURY HIM!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
did you just send me my own nude
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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