This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
