then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
