the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
