i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
