Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
