I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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