I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just invented taco cereal.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
