You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
