I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
