Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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