I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
