Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
