My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
