My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize