i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
