i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
