Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
