Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
