i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
