he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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