look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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