I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
