it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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