Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
