Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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